Holidays are a big deal for me. I especially love Christmas. Our weather in Florida finally gets a bit cooler. Plus, we can enjoy being outside without too many mosquitoes. There are also many local cities who host holiday activities for free or low prices. I’m all about keeping the budget low when possible! One of my favorite events is attending the Christmas party at Magic Kingdom and visiting the Grand Floridian hotel to see the gingerbread house. We like to buy gingerbread cookies, which never make it home. Last year we bought gingerbread ornaments, too. They were super cute and smelled fantastic!
Unfortunately, this year will be a bit different due to COVID-19 guidance and mandates. People are concerned about staying healthy and safe. Many are staying home instead of going to big parties and are considering risk factors when making holiday plans. Plus, there will be big decisions to be made for those who usually travel by air to visit family over winter breaks from school. Typical holiday events my family attends have been altered or cancelled. Plus, my budget is a bit stretched due to the ebb and flow of my business this year due to COVID-19’s economic effects. I know many people are in a similar situation and we are all going to have to make the best of it.
My kids, however, aren’t too concerned about the “new normal” this holiday season. They have autism and prefer not to “people” very often. (Peopling is interacting with people.) Going out and about includes many challenges for my kids. There are sensory triggers such as smells, certain types of lighting, and loud sounds. People may not behave in a way the kids predict so this can also be a stressor. Plus, too much overall sensory input can cause an anxiety meltdown. As you can imagine, this is exhausting to many people with autism. In the autism community this is a well-known issue. Many discuss how long it takes them to recoup after peopling. For my kids it ranges from a few hours to several days, depending on what happened while out and to which kid we are referring.
I often have to be strategic about when we go out and what we do. I have to check with the kids and see what they feel they can handle as well. Truth be known, my kids may want to participate in an activity but still have a meltdown because of the stress of being out and about. I have found that listening to and discussing with them is extremely helpful when making plans.
I once took two of my kids to a festival. We had a great time and were in good spirits both during the event and when we left. Together we decided to stop at a store for a few snacks so we could have a movie night later. As we walked into the store, the lights triggered my youngest. He began to scream and ram himself into carts. He had been fine literally 5 seconds before as we walked into the store but the busy morning plus the sound, which I cannot hear, of the lights in the store triggered him. I sat on the floor and cuddled him in a bear hug so he could calm, but we ended up leaving because he was so stressed out and he felt embarrassed. On another day this may not have happened at all. He may have proceeded through a store without incident even though the lights emit a high frequency sound that bothers him. Sometimes we can tell when a meltdown is coming, but other times we can’t. As you can imagine, holiday activities can be a minefield for some with special needs, especially when you consider the potential triggers for anxiety.
My kids are thankful for the COVID-19 changes because they don’t have to worry about other people being in their personal space, being made to go in-person to places where they don’t want to be, and don’t have to respectfully decline greeting and parting hugs from friends and family members. This year my kids will enjoy opening gifts without people trying to hug them as a “thank you” or a “you’re welcome”. They will enjoy not being at parties with foods and smells that cause their sensory issues to go into overdrive. They will enjoy going out to events that are socially distanced without as much concern over people bumping into them. I guess I am a little selfish in that I am also feeling relieved. I won’t likely have as many issues to help the kids navigate. I won’t have as many meltdowns to calm. I will have a bit more freedom to simply enjoy an event.
I’m sad that the events we usually attend may not happen or may be out of our price-range this year. But I’m thankful that there is a silver lining, albeit a small one, in the way our society is now operating. I hope that this winter includes less anxiety meltdowns and more connections between immediate family members as many of us stay home a bit more than we otherwise would. As people respect personal space more now, I think less triggers will occur for my kids when we are out and about. Yes, I will miss my traditions, but I think change can be a positive thing and I am thankful that my children will feel more comfortable and less stressed this holiday season.